There’s a certain level of nihilism that a writer must achieve to be any good at the craft. I’ve reached that level of nihilism so hopefully my writing improves soon.


I was a strategist for a semester. Now I’m in my eighth trimester as a copywriter. The babies take forever to come out, but when they do, at least I get to name them.


1x Gold National

1x Best In Show

1x Judge’s Pick

1x Silver

Clio Muse

1x Gold


2x Gold

1x Silver


1x Wood Pencil

    One Club

    1x Gold

    1x Silver

    1x Bronze

    9x Shortlists

  • The Balloon Paradox
    Inflation is good for balloons and bad for happiness.
  • The Bad Mornings Club
    We don’t discriminate between texts, calls, or in-person greetings. We’re bad at all of them.
  • 66 Pounds
    It cost me over $100 to bring the suitcase overseas.
  • Limping
    I half-assed a minor in philosophy. Why? My parents strongly advised me against it.
  • I drink too much
    I write too little.
  • How Are You?
    I’m older, wiser, drunker, dumber.
  • Chivalry is Dead
    And buried by every split check.
  • Protected: A Thesis for Horrible People
    This content is password protected.
  • The Storm
    The lighthouse is gone. Now I’m just a beat-to-shit ship in the storm (hopefully the ship has devil horns).
  • A Victim of Circumstance
    Maybe I’m blinded by feeling. Maybe I’m feeling blind. Maybe I should open up my blinds and let some sunlight in. I wouldn’t sparkle, but I would get a fair tan.
  • The Fede Interview
    Grab your tissues and wine bottle just as I did and buckle up for a good old fashioned love story. 
  • Self-Analysis
    I don’t own a seven thousand-dollar Cuban link; I have one seven-dollar silver necklace that holds two inch-long dangling drumsticks.
  • S
    You were once the girl of my dreams, but I haven’t been sleeping well. 
  • Drivers of Innovation
    Not every piece of media is meant to be as universal as Pirates of the Caribbean. 
  • The Artist Mentality 2
    Am I the art or the artist?
  • Innovation in Dating Shows
    People say dogs look like their owners, so what if we get people to date based on their dogs?
  • The War of the Worlds
    Just because we all have a voice doesn’t mean we all should.
  • Fall in Reverse
    Fall in reverse. You won’t hit the ground.
  • Perception
    I said I would be a writer but I don’t know what that entails.
  • Mosquito
    He caught a mosquito. The last thing it saw was a round of applause.
  • Hawk
    Find solace in the silence. 
  • Goodnight Kitten
    “Goodnight, Kitten”, he says as he takes off his fedora. He closes discord. He googles Google. “Mmmmph”
  • ABC Story
    Apples are amazing, but you know what I prefer? Bananas.
  • Taki’s Dog
    Eating Taki’s feels like becoming a superhero.
  • People Like Balls
    People like balls.
  • Doof Days
    Ander Perez wrote this in 3rd person so his SEO can be improved.
  • How to Write
    People need to fall in love with not just my writing, but with me as a person. Comma splices only get me so far.
  • How to Read
    Complacency is the antagonist of creativity. It’s impossible to improve as a writer if you never read.
  • The Case Against Religion
    The sky is not the limit, but neither is heaven. For those who believe in the afterlife, I advocate for them to see it.
  • Lutheran Church Site Visit
    It’s safe to say that my knowledge of Church was minimal to nun.
  • Improving as a Writer
    For twenty-one years I’ve been told I have potential. Wait until I figure out how to use it.
  • Why the Superbowl 100 Commercial Works
    To celebrate a century of football, the NFL dished out a Super Bowl commercial with a budget that would make Bill Gates quiver.
  • WAP: The Feminist Revolution
    “I want you to park that big Mack truck, right in this little garage,” said Cardi B as she struck the liberty bell.
  • Master’s Application Essay
    Music has the special power to transcend language. Maybe I’m just speaking like a drummer, but you don’t need to understand lyrics to be able to feel the rhythm.
  • Rhetoric
    Hilter managed to bring an entire country together with the vindication to tear other countries apart.
  • How Art Can Change the World
    If you aren’t familiar with Ligma you can ask me about it.
  • I’m Happy
    What I tell myself is what I become, so choosing my words wisely is crucial to my sanity.
  • Letter to Xuan
    I’ve come a long way from having my reading level defined by my twitter feed.
  • I was an Accident
    My brother was planned, I on the other hand, was a New Year’s Eve with a bit too much champagne.
  • An Ode to Toby
    Celebrate life instead of mourning death.
  • The Afterlife
    God is an easy answer to questions that shouldn’t be easily answered.
  • Does Death Negate the Meaning of Life?
    If death negates life’s meaning, sadness negates what it means to be happy.
  • Apology – Plato and Socrates Analysis
    No evil can befall a good man.
  • Tragic Optimism
    We are not searching for happiness; instead a reason to be happy.
  • Betrayal
    We are subjects of life creating more accidents to give life meaning. As long as we are not forgotten, we are not dead.
  • The 400 Amigos
    The Three Amigos closes with their theme song in over a sunset. The 400 Blows ends with a stare into the camera and a cut to black. One makes you laugh, the other makes you appreciate life.
  • Joker vs. At Eternity’s Gate
    Two traumatized individuals devolving into madness.
  • All Animals are Created Equal
    I don’t care if you look like me or not, if you can feel the same pain as me, our interests should be considered the same.
  • The Lighthouse
    I watched The Lighthouse at a comfy theatre with reclining chairs while speaking spanglish and downing spiked Coca Cola. My circumstance was nothing like these men, yet they were inevitably relatable.
  • Branded to Kill: No One is Safe
    Joe is either horny for his wife, or horny for war. His growing obsession to the hunt leads to his isolation.
  • Aris-thought-le
    Bring out your Gin and Tonic and let’s drink every time you see the word “happy.”
  • Pickpocket: Sound Design & Editing
    Emotional storytelling doesn’t just lie in the directors and actors’ hands, it comes in the form of dialogue, music, sound, editing, and the build-up and release of tension.
  • Playtime: Acting Mimics Reality
    Despite the proper attire used throughout the entirety of the film, no one is taken seriously.
  • Cinematography
    The story comes first.
  • The Green New Deal
    For saying a lot of words AOC really didn’t say much.
  • Kiss
    I want to analyze the moment when the conversation stops, and the slow-motion seconds lead up to our lip hi-five.
  • Friends with Benefits
    From her Twitter direct messages to her guts, it has been a true Miami love story from the start.
  • More than Words
    This was a hot afternoon in the summer of 2018. We were playing rock band in my living room.
  • Truth
    If deceit is the key to persuasion, truth is not necessary.
  • Power and Rhetoric
    If truth can be omitted for the good of the argument, then it very well will be.
  • I’m Craving Cookies
    Introducing my secret weapon: broke college-student pouty face
  • Buddhism vs. Christianity
    We are often overwhelmed by a sense of alienation, our own weakness, and inadequacy. In response, we seek enlightenment.
  • Karl Marx vs. Max Weber
    Man becomes enslaved not just by man, but by religious practice.
  • The Pros and Cons of Online Conflict
    Sometimes it will be online and sometimes it will be in person, but all the time, we will have the power to make decisions for ourselves.
  • How does Anger Affect Conflict?
    The seconds felt endless when he wasn’t enveloped inside the world of Words with Friends.
  • Myths and Rituals
    As ritual is the act, myth is the thought.
  • Phenomenology
    Phenomenology is the attempt at defining religion by the feelings evoked.
  • The Artist Mentality
    There are two types of people in this world: artists and everybody else.
  • Identity
    On July 14th, 2016, I picked up a video camera and filmed myself saying the words I would then echo for months to come, “Good morning everybody.”
  • Breaking Social Norms
    Eating food with my hands in public is breeze for me.
  • Everyday Use
    This short story is bubbling with detailed characters and character development.
  • A Jury of Her Peers
    A Jury of Her Peers emphasizes the boundary between the male and female genders.
  • The Catcher in the Rye
    Trauma, losing your innocence too quickly, and the uncertainty of the future.
  • Having a Coke with You
    With young love comes two emotionally unstable teenagers unable to form a full thought without getting on top of eachother.
  • What Lips my Lips Have Kissed
    She is a tree, her lovers are ghosts, and her happiness changes as the seasons.
  • Hi I’m Bubba
    Bubba: No no, none of that jibber-jabber doodly-doo squat. Do you not remember the first rule, bacon is good, fruit is bad.
  • Doctor Who (Prank)
    My prank war in high school featured crimes of varying severity.
  • Army Baby
    “What The F***!” Toad yelled. “Why in the freaking world would you send out rockets to a base that you don’t know of?!!”

“The only thing that makes you a writer is gluing your ass in a seat. Everything else is a pose”

Hank Moody, alcoholic & fictional father