You were once the girl of my dreams, but I haven’t been sleeping well. I keep trying to push to a day when I wake up thinking of you in the same light as I always have. When I’m with you I catch a glimpse, but when I’m away my mind traps me.

You’ve provided me so much color but it keeps turning grey. The white picket still exists, but I don’t feel like I live there now. I live in my mind and sometimes it’s a minefield.

It’s hard to give you up because the world can be so cruel. I feel the pain of you facing it alone. Somewhere along the lines I felt like I would resent you more and more as this went on. I end up resenting myself. I kept picking at all the little wounds as I always have. But I will never do that again. 

Her response:

“I’m so sick and tired of your shit. Truly honestly I am. You are the most despicable nefarious pos I’ve ever met.”