WRITER

Slide

There’s a certain level of nihilism that a writer must achieve to be any good at the craft. I’ve reached that level of nihilism so hopefully my writing improves soon.

Slide

I was a strategist for a semester. Now I’m in my eighth trimester as a copywriter. The babies take forever to come out, but when they do, at least I get to name them.

[Student Awards]

Addy’s

1x Gold National

1x Best In Show

1x Judge’s Pick

1x Silver

Clio Muse

1x Gold

Graphis

2x Gold

1x Silver

D&AD

1x Wood Pencil

    One Club

    1x Gold

    1x Silver

    1x Bronze

    9x Shortlists

  • Ember
    Did you give something to me, or did I steal in cold blood?
  • Lightning
    What are the odds that it might strike me?
  • Little Bird
    You sacrifice flight but the sky comes along.
  • Tears
    When an angel cries, I do not cry. I love your tears too much to watch them dry.
  • Ladybug
    She’s holding on, gripping the broken black foam with just enough indifference that she doesn’t see the color at all.
  • Hallways
    My once great stride, has now become a crawl, leaving the light of the world, for four haunting walls
  • Bookstore
    Seven in the evening, black coffee in my cup, it’s 9am somewhere, I’m just now waking up.
  • Shells
    The only proof that I have lived at all.
  • Numbers
    My life is being reduced to paychecks, rent, 22% auto gratuity.
  • Bottomless
    As if Eve pulled an orange off the tree.
  • Sunburn
    Let’s lower the exposure on life. 
  • My Cat Knew Better
    I was never able to see how bad she was for me. But my cat was.
  • Wet January
    Why is booze the first to go?
  • The Balloon Paradox
    Inflation is good for balloons and bad for happiness.
  • The Bad Mornings Club
    We don’t discriminate between texts, calls, or in-person greetings. We’re bad at all of them.
  • Weight Limit
    It cost me over $100 to bring the suitcase overseas.
  • Limping
    I half-assed a minor in philosophy. Why? My parents strongly advised me against it.
  • I drink too much
    I write too little.
  • Small Talk
    I’m older, wiser, drunker, dumber.
  • Chivalry is Dead
    And buried by every split check.
  • The Storm
    The lighthouse is gone. Now I’m just a beat-to-shit ship in the storm (hopefully the ship has devil horns).
  • A Victim of Circumstance
    Maybe I should open up my blinds and let some sunlight in. I wouldn’t sparkle, but I would get a fair tan.
  • S
    You were once the girl of my dreams, but I haven’t been sleeping well. 

“The only thing that makes you a writer is gluing your ass in a seat. Everything else is a pose”

– Hank Moody, alcoholic & fictional father