All I learned in film school is how to go viral and make a gravity bong out of a Pringles can.

Since then, I’ve hit over 100 million views (and bongs).

My relationship with the past is tenuous at best. The day my parents got married and the conversion from mile to kilometer are not things I can easily recall. Fortunately, I turned my 240p memories to 4K by filming every god damn thing.

My first ever “film.”

I played the villain (and all his henchmen), which seems apropos.