I’m Craving Cookies

I would demolish some cookies right now. I’m not sure if it’s the munchies or life just treating me right, but I can taste them just by thinking about them. My guardian angel must be guiding me because who would’ve known that I’d be craving cookies the exact moment I’m in line at Subway. The perfect dessert is within reach. It’s certainly not the healthiest choice, but I’ve been a good boy this week, so I deserve it. This’ll be my cheat day. It’s not like Subway is the poster child for healthy choices anyways. Having 7 measly dollars to my name doesn’t convince me enough that I will be able to get them, but it won’t keep me from trying. After all, what good is the reward if I didn’t have to work for it?

So then how can I pull this off? I clearly don’t have enough money for both my footlong and the cookies. Well, the plan is simple. Arrive at night, approximately 45 minutes to closing time (yes, it’s certainly a restrictive time constraint, but it’s worth free stuff). When ordering my food, build rapport with the Subway worker. Analyze their mood and appearance to determine what would be appropriate to talk about and then build a friendly connection. The goal is to create laughter and ease the tension that often occurs when making a footlong, but of course, the plan of attack depends on the person. After I pay for my sandwich, casually ask the worker “What do you do with the cookies at the end of the day?”. Once the worker says they just throw them away, sauce them into giving me some free cookies. I also have a secret weapon of putting on my broke college-student pouty face, so there is no way this won’t work. The plan is foolproof. The cookies are as good as mine.

There are two essential things I can take away from this heist. One of them is cookies, and the other is an understanding of how in-depth rhetoric plays a role in every action I take. Whether I notice it or not, I used rhetoric every time I typed something on this paper. Every word choice was methodical, with the intentions of getting an A. It is all planned to convince you I understand rhetoric. It’s a process, just like the plan for free cookies. From me rationalizing dessert to actually getting it, I was using rhetoric to have my way. Debating whether to buy the cookies or not, as well as preparing the plan all shared qualities of rhetoric. I had to convince myself I was deserving of the cookies, and then convince the worker I was too. 

Gratefully, I left Subway with a dozen tasty chocolate chip cookies. I now have to persuade myself not to eat them all, but that’s another challenge for when I get home. Even in that action I am employing rhetoric. After all, rhetoric seeks persuasion (Herrick 12).